Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member
About ironfey : "And our lives will only always continue to be a balancing act that has less to do with pain, and more to do with beauty." -Shane Koyczan
"Normal is an illusion. What is normal to the spider, is chaos to the fly." - Morgue
To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed.
PSN: Bunniesonacid, add me c:
Ask for Kik or Snapchat c:
I work at subway. Making sammiches. But I'm trying to get a new job because my boss is a douche canoe. Hopefully Slackers gets back to me (kudos to all the Missouri/Illinois people that know what Slackers is)
Proud Color Guard Member 🚩💃
Wrapping up my sophomore year.
Je m'appelle Christiane, et toi?
Brendon Urie is hotter than you.
Going as Asuna to ASTL ❤️
Aaron is pretty badass ✌️
Rest in peace baby girl 🐈💕😭
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML
Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015