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About ironfey : 2 more years til nursing school. Bring it on.
In love with Josh David, he will forever be the love of my life and can't wait to one day be his wifey.
Not only that, but his best friend rubs tater tots on his nipples and hands them out to strangers, and some how adopts a kitten. All in the time my love was at work. Who the fuck needs cable when you have an Alan.
"And our lives will only ever always continue to be a balancing act that has less to do with pain, and more to do with beauty." - Shane Koyczan 🌺
"Normal is an illusion. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly." - Morticia Addams
I sing in a fancy choir, spin flags, and act in musicals. Get on my level.
I'm lame as hell, so don't message me unless you're okay with random blurbs and love for all things geeky.
Talk nerdy to me.
One more and it's business time
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Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML
Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Friday 31 July 2015