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irishgirl5689

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irishgirl5689

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irishgirl5689's page activity

Visits<b>victoria63</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 1:27pm<b>jalmanza2580</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 7:54pm

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irishgirl5689's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (3223)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (2273)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (6533)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (3139)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37740) - you deserved it (3279)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (6361)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (2167)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I could not decide what was sadder: the fact that I have to work on New Year's Eve, or that fact that working on New Year's Eve is still the most exciting thing I've ever done for New Year's Eve. FML

#21328020
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (2728)

On 12/31/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by MegaZeo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39049) - you deserved it (4353)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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