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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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irishfever

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irishfever
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 46146
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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irishfever's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16813) - you deserved it (7201)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (3712)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

#6963425 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (4823) - you deserved it (45163)

On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (25947) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (12360) - you deserved it (19234)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (56066)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (15633)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (56686) - you deserved it (4802)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (46077)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (3531)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (42435) - you deserved it (5397)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my sister in law walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (97738)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (51533) - you deserved it (1671)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (544)

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (82655)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)