About ireply_wlyrics : ao4j.com
not the real ireply_wlyrics, I don't think i''m allowed to do so anyway.
if only you could change usernames...
About ireply_wlyrics : ao4j.com
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ireply_wlyrics's favorite FMLs
by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML
by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals
by iliketoastalot / 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by pizzaface / 08/09/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
by OyGeeze28 / 08/09/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
by **(: / 08/09/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm / United States / Health
by Sharee K. / 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Username / 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm / United States / Love
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
by power corrupts... / 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Work
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at the hospital front desk when an elderly man started hurling racial slurs at another visitor. A fight broke out, so I stepped in and forcibly separated the two. The old man tripped and crashed to the floor. Now I'm under investigation for "contributing to workplace violence." FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…