Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ireply_wlyrics

Offline (26 minutes ago) | Search for a member

ireply_wlyrics

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22108
  • Number of comments : 645
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About ireply_wlyrics : hi
well, I would love to live in another county for a while, maybe help impoverished children and families learn languages and cultures
, and become a teacher for elementary/middle school. it'll be tough. no doubt but hey, teaching in itself is a learning process and even if I make mistakes, it's all about learning from them and adjusting to be a better teacher and in the long run, and to think creatively & freely and question authority rather then just have information drilled into their skulls. and to stand against bullied! never take their ***!
i'm female, and about 5'2 .
NOT the original ireplywlyrics....not allowed to reply with lyrics now.... wish I could change my name....
Whatever you do. don't make assumptions,
don't turn on the lights.
and don't turn around.





Betre å vite rett enn å håpe feil

wanna know more bout me, message!~~

ireply_wlyrics's page activity

Visits<b>laurenandblake</b> - 6 hours ago<b>freakyfriday101</b> - 13 hours ago<b>tagallopes</b> - 22 hours ago<b>katiebeth12</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:08am<b>skidude4</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:55am<b>bigmike25</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:59pm<b>VIPwhenever</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:07pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:24am<b>neveah_marie</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:14am<b>alice_18</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:55pm<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:24pm<b>PatriciaAra</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:12am<b>Pikachu12</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:35am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:04am<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:16pm<b>meikithemegaham</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Kor14</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:57am

Liked!<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:38pm

ireply_wlyrics's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of ireply_wlyrics's badges

ireply_wlyrics's favorite FMLs

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14926) - you deserved it (62821)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML

#1445929
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73103) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by kattydoo07 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year old male customer went into explicit detail about the Adult's Only programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming and tries out on his 70 year old wife. FML

#1416209
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66722) - you deserved it (5952)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:44am - intimacy - by Lockie (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (208795) - you deserved it (11210)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML

#1309415
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52761) - you deserved it (2188)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10096) - you deserved it (70130)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10096) - you deserved it (70130)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10096) - you deserved it (70130)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69834) - you deserved it (8086)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (67899)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (479743) - you deserved it (29256)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78415) - you deserved it (6185)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98763) - you deserved it (15025)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60727) - you deserved it (5726)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: