About ireply_wlyrics : ao4j.com
not the real ireply_wlyrics, I don't think i''m allowed to do so anyway.
if only you could change usernames...
About ireply_wlyrics : ao4j.com
ireply_wlyrics's FML badges
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ireply_wlyrics's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
by Neckbruise101 / 10/15/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work
Today my daughter asked me to do her a huge favor : undergo a liposuction transplantation where my fat would be sucked out then put into her butt and thighs. Apparently, I am the fattest DNA match to her, lessening the risk of her rejecting the transplant. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2016 at 12:37pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by JEHR / 10/07/2016 at 3:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today my boyfriend and I broke up. It was a mutual decision but I was curious as to what he thought went wrong. "I was just never sure if you brushed your teeth regularly." He cheated on me twice. FML
by cannotexplain / 10/04/2016 at 10:43am / Australia / Love
by DrawingWaves / 09/27/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML
by ShameMonkey / 09/27/2016 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, I've been recovering for a week from my medically needed circumcision. I'm 30, and they advise you wear essentially a jock strap for the first week to help. It wasn't too bad until I went to take the thing off and it caught a stitch on my manhood. That's the most unique pain ever. FML
by T3kM4n / 09/20/2016 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Catfood is delicious I must admit. FML
by drchinky888 / 09/18/2016 at 1:10pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML
by adults acting like children / 09/17/2016 at 4:31pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my extremely racist coworker was doing his usual thing. Since it was 9/11 he went absolutely hardcore on his "jokes" so I reported it to my supervisor. She asked what did he say specifically and I recited it to her. She decided to write me up for "making inappropriate comments at work". FML
by epicgamer / 09/12/2016 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2016 at 10:51pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML
by RhiannonMuh / 09/09/2016 at 4:01pm / Germany (Bayern) / Love
by MumMatters / 09/09/2016 at 6:26am / Germany (Hamburg) / Kids
by mista hunna / 09/08/2016 at 1:31am / United States (Maryland) / Animals
by whoops / 09/02/2016 at 10:49am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…