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ipwnallmen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4328
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (7518)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10331) - you deserved it (30494)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

#17493123
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (9032)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

#17461404
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (7078)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:29pm - misc - by Karin (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (2726)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7196) - you deserved it (38815)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

#16931515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (2559)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:56am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

#16921671
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14633) - you deserved it (28705)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

#16921062
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29949) - you deserved it (3537)

On 06/30/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by sealpop09 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33636) - you deserved it (2353)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46402) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

#16896925
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (4680)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (2585)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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