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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, my best friend informed me that she has been sleeping with my boyfriend. She tried to justify it by saying, "He's just going to break up with you anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (1659)
On 03/10/2012 at 12:12am - love - by best friend! - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (1808)
On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (2043)
On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (2391)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:50am - health - by FootyFoot (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (15640)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (6984)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (2471)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:28am - misc - by DamnDogs (woman) - Canada
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16008) - you deserved it (12466)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:10pm - love - by CptZoe - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (3817)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36686) - you deserved it (3437)
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45534) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (1839) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16882) - you deserved it (2732)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States
Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13942) - you deserved it (2136)
On 01/23/2012 at 11:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25613) - you deserved it (5043)
On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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