Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ipwnallmen

Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 8:45pm) | Search for a member

ipwnallmen

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5020
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ipwnallmen's page activity

Visits<b>Tommy_the_Great</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 4:14pm<b>hokie16</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 4:08am<b>Genuine_G</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:44am<b>zaise</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:15am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:02am<b>molzipan</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:38pm<b>TrickHeart</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Grace598</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 2:49pm<b>TKCat</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:31pm

ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ipwnallmen's badges

ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68046) - you deserved it (22558)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28232) - you deserved it (104227)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

#399721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53174) - you deserved it (29363)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

#230798
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63995) - you deserved it (6488)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:17pm - love - by crap (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60858) - you deserved it (21054)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

#86332
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68584) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

#27666
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (5546)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

#13891
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (6964)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by notpreggers (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34107) - you deserved it (7260)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (2490)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: