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ipwnallmen

Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 8:45pm) | Search for a member

ipwnallmen

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  • Number of visits : 5019
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ipwnallmen's page activity

Visits<b>Tommy_the_Great</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 4:14pm<b>hokie16</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 4:08am<b>Genuine_G</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:44am<b>zaise</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:15am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:02am<b>molzipan</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:38pm<b>TrickHeart</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Grace598</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 2:49pm<b>TKCat</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:31pm

ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ipwnallmen's badges

ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (10805)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6108) - you deserved it (53073)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (4762)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (2125)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (2048)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (2734)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20168) - you deserved it (3277)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17998) - you deserved it (26267)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (1683)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

#19656239
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (4198)

On 05/21/2012 at 7:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25117) - you deserved it (2006)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (3709)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

#19554297
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10339) - you deserved it (37172)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (54728)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44404) - you deserved it (3403)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)



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