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ipwnallmen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4266
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ipwnallmen's badges

ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

#7031264
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15998) - you deserved it (1815)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:36am - intimacy - by kte (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

#7027247
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (21767)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:08am - work - by bells - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML

#7019728
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (1782)

On 12/29/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by kenzieeeee (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8492) - you deserved it (16744)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14383) - you deserved it (8121)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML

#6990979
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:14am - work - by kawaiixalice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76996) - you deserved it (4258)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (8312)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (4910)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

#6783390
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (2209)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by Frauded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (6439)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (32668)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (8854)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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