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ipwnallmen

Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 8:45pm) | Search for a member

ipwnallmen

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 6389
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ipwnallmen's page activity

Visits<b>ChocoTaco12344</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 10:55pm<b>seanlapree</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:22am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>baxwar</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>will_5801</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:36pm

ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ipwnallmen's badges

ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (14783)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (9813)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13583) - you deserved it (32437)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

#7228491
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13028) - you deserved it (24112)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10532) - you deserved it (38460)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (3620)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30597) - you deserved it (3634)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML

#7073820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34578) - you deserved it (2571)

On 01/01/2010 at 2:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

#7072214
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22585) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by nobffs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (18356)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8548) - you deserved it (58623)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

#7050852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (5140)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:01am - love - by 12345678 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

#7031264
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:36am - intimacy - by kte (woman) - United States (Texas)



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