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Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 8:45pm) | Search for a member
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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML
Friday 3 July 2015