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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
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Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (3203)
On 02/04/2010 at 9:52am - love - by EchoDearEcho (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22369) - you deserved it (1786)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7006) - you deserved it (19804)
On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (9708)
On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4443) - you deserved it (61892)
On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5119) - you deserved it (30011)
On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (1747)
On 01/30/2010 at 9:11pm - love - by pkz - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (3010)
On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19117) - you deserved it (1863)
On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (3116)
On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (3079)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (2019)
On 01/15/2010 at 8:22pm - love - by woundedexwife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16610) - you deserved it (4412)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bali_Boil (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33378) - you deserved it (2252)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (3471)
On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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