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ipwnallmen

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ipwnallmen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4278
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (22801)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

#8862366
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5735) - you deserved it (33802)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by drunk (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (1998)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (1998)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (1998)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7518) - you deserved it (32991)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard a rumor about myself going around my high school that I am pregnant, I've dropped out of school, and that my belly is showing. I'm not actually pregnant. I've been severely depressed, so I've missed a few days of school and I've been eating too much apparently. FML

#8630946
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (3520)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by mainey92 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (1853)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

#8532673
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6714) - you deserved it (25007)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (6674)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

#8081301
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (2958)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

#8007252
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (3352)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:18am - love - by DD - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (2755)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML

#7874367
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/04/2010 at 11:12am - love - by confused - Sent from mobile version



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