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ipwnallmen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4276
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, I got arrested for shoplifting. I don't know what's worse, that I stole a one dollar bottle of chocolate milk, or that I didn't have the dollar to pay for it. FML

#15304512
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13013) - you deserved it (67387)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:32am - money - by kb10 -

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

#15069321
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML

#14712877
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (3434)

On 01/25/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by bluediva24 -

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (3257)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

#14127475
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (17161)

On 12/08/2010 at 1:26am - health - by whyme -

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

#14104065
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (1916)

On 12/06/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by kenz - United States

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (5726)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52469) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

#13994569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (2852)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by nanuka_g - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

#13939042
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (4351)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8049) - you deserved it (55642)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40284) - you deserved it (9197)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friends house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow. FML

#13624636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (4437)

On 10/28/2010 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2688)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (2165)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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