Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ipwnallmen

Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 8:45pm) | Search for a member

ipwnallmen

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4855
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ipwnallmen's page activity

Visits<b>Tommy_the_Great</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 4:14pm<b>hokie16</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 4:08am<b>Genuine_G</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:44am<b>zaise</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:15am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:02am<b>molzipan</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:38pm<b>TrickHeart</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Grace598</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 2:49pm<b>TKCat</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:31pm

ipwnallmen's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ipwnallmen's badges

ipwnallmen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (9823)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43881) - you deserved it (6705)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44728) - you deserved it (5757)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34866) - you deserved it (2424)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (2624)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (40490)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38052) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML

#20528161
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9515) - you deserved it (42682)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by oops (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (3742)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38874) - you deserved it (8404)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12393) - you deserved it (52693)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45594) - you deserved it (9516)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: