ipeedinthewoods

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Offline (the 04/07/2015 at 6:53am)

ipeedinthewoods

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 86
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ipeedinthewoods's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

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ipeedinthewoods's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

by angkal2002 / 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm / Australia / Kids

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

by Humiliated & Heart-Broken / 07/30/2014 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

by dealtit / 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

by YouAssholes / 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous