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Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (5042)
On 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm - misc - by MissTrix - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (2213)
On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (8015)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14661) - you deserved it (6553)
On 09/21/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by yourmom - United States (Georgia)
Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you deserved it (4821)
On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (33925)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (33925)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (3124)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out he wasn't a "special" child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (2358)
On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (9257)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my computer was hit with something bigger than a virus: A car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (3388)
On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41549) - you deserved it (13498)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38379) - you deserved it (5158)
On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)
Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (7049)
On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (1766)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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