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involentnumber0

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involentnumber0's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41966) - you deserved it (4765)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (6133)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (17366)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37289) - you deserved it (4358)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51687) - you deserved it (39947)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48659) - you deserved it (6688)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

#21209921
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (5747)

On 07/15/2014 at 5:24pm - health - by stinky breath - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (6085)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

#21204665
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39746) - you deserved it (5060)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (14811)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42949) - you deserved it (7845)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47781) - you deserved it (3496)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51789) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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