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involentnumber0

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involentnumber0
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  • Number of visits : 51
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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involentnumber0's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

#20838310
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (41217)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

#20837392
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (3391)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm - kids - by sisterly love - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42090) - you deserved it (5278)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
188 comments

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (40103)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

#20836449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48559) - you deserved it (5956)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45713) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56967) - you deserved it (5169)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend only has sex with me to get me to shut up. FML

#20827840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (16267)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by blissful oblivion (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45742) - you deserved it (17110)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57185) - you deserved it (3911)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)



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