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invisibleFlower's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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invisibleFlower's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML
by donttouchmyhair / 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 2:25am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML
by tiredofcrazy / 03/18/2014 at 5:14am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals
by emmaavk88 / 03/17/2014 at 8:15am / United Arab Emirates / Animals
Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML
by BondingTime / 03/17/2014 at 5:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by thanksdad / 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Money
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by KennyJF7 / 03/14/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 12:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Crochocinco85 / 03/13/2014 at 7:59am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML
by Anon / 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work