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invisibleFlower

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invisibleFlower

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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invisibleFlower's page activity

Visits<b>stupid_dyke</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 6:43am<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 6:09pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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invisibleFlower's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43995) - you deserved it (2698)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56209) - you deserved it (3247)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (6151)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (4070)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (12363)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

#20875663
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48491) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/10/2013 at 11:52am - money - by zcollins - United States (California)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44553) - you deserved it (3615)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38166) - you deserved it (5650)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (11022)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (17407)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52999) - you deserved it (6163)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55665) - you deserved it (23195)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44102) - you deserved it (4781)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48490) - you deserved it (5263)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (8707)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States



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