Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

invisibleFlower

Search for a member

invisibleFlower
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 471
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

invisibleFlower's last visitors

lo_and_behold

invisibleFlower's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of invisibleFlower's badges

invisibleFlower's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40235) - you deserved it (3510)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (3243)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43460) - you deserved it (2700)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40690) - you deserved it (2310)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (2154)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41577) - you deserved it (5309)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (12546)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (2268)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40560) - you deserved it (17908)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42397) - you deserved it (3487)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

#20858957
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (2994)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:44am - love - by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (3923)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46470) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: