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Offline (the 11/20/2014 at 7:42pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1906
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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invisibleFlower's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:52pm<b>stupid_dyke</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 6:43am<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 6:09pm

invisibleFlower's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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invisibleFlower's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

by karmaaa / 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

by not saying it was whores, but... / 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

by Forge / 10/11/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

by MainePains / 10/10/2014 at 7:27pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

by shatfjord / 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

by gracewinchester / 10/10/2014 at 2:57am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

by peak4u / 10/09/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

by MoRuined / 10/09/2014 at 6:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love

Today, I started at a new school. It's a pretty great school, but there's only one problem: Everybody thinks I'm a teacher. I'm only a freshman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

by thenegatives / 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

by allergic_to_bull / 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm / United States (Florida) / Work