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invisibleFlower's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
invisibleFlower's favorite FMLs
by bookworm / 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
by limpdick9 / 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML
by shadysheikh / 10/29/2014 at 12:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by ColdStones / 10/20/2014 at 4:50am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML
by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by how about never? / 10/19/2014 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by KayyElOh94 / 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids
by catt / 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm / Germany (Berlin) / Health
by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2014 at 6:13am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
- Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his… Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got… Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I…