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invadermaythe1st

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invadermaythe1st

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 970
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About invadermaythe1st : Eh, not much to say.

invadermaythe1st's page activity

Visits<b>CreepyChick_95</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:24am<b>daydreamer244</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:53pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:00am<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:45am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:39am<b>Khione</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:38pm<b>fireworksmylife</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:32pm<b>SuperWhoLockGirl</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:56pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:18pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:57pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:38am<b>chloewj</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 11:07pm<b>thefella</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:44pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:34pm<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:42pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:25pm

Liked!<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:39am<b>davered89</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:49pm

invadermaythe1st's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of invadermaythe1st's badges

invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (4668)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35016) - you deserved it (4104)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42452) - you deserved it (4253)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46916) - you deserved it (4137)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (6906)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

#21190761
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (8658)

On 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (4402)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48960) - you deserved it (7579)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML



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