Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

invadermaythe1st

Search for a member

invadermaythe1st

73Fucked!

invadermaythe1stinvadermaythe1st
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3627
  • Number of comments : 209
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About invadermaythe1st : I'm just a 16 year old girl from England.
I assume you're here due to a witty or funny comment? ;)

invadermaythe1st's page activity

Visits<b>sydmeister99</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:58pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:54pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Leporus</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:39pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:10pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:24pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:21pm<b>bps315</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:31am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:46am<b>johny93</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:31am<b>nikkinik1424</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:40pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 1:24pm<b>hunt381</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 4:42am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:31pm<b>csi</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:56am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 7:00pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:58pm<b>Andrew_bruh21</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:48pm

Fucked!<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:51pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:43am<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:59pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:16am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 4:47am<b>3051628</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 9:08am<b>kumarina</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:22pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 5:16pm<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 4:31pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:14pm<b>A07</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:38pm<b>lexred</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 4:06pm<b>IHeartMinecraft</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:58pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:58am<b>vegemute</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:21pm

invadermaythe1st's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of invadermaythe1st's badges

invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

#21488826
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20189) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm - health - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, after weeks of searching, I finally found the wedding dress of my dreams. Too bad it was in the form of a download for The Sims. FML

#21474127
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/29/2015 at 10:58am - misc - by Anna (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

#21466659
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (2404)

On 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

#21458335
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (2444)

On 08/20/2015 at 2:02am - love - by Catsfordays - United States (California)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to brake, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

#21434457
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (4452)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

#21430948
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (2917)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25821) - you deserved it (2381)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (13290)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37092) - you deserved it (7778)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

#21421640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (2636)

On 06/06/2015 at 3:32am - work - by justin bieber's nutsack (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: