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invadermaythe1st

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 12:02pm) | Search for a member

invadermaythe1st

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 505
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About invadermaythe1st : Eh, not much to say. If you want to know, inbox me~ :p
(Only a fan of homestuck characters, I got bored and stressed from the web comic- to much stuff going on in my actual life to enjoy it)

invadermaythe1st's page activity

Visits<b>Disembob</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:05am<b>Greasefeather</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:53pm<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:00am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:08am<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:20am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:46am<b>superbopbop</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:53pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Vamphyre73</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 3:32pm<b>souleste</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:38pm<b>GanJwAR15</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:19pm<b>twindoomsdays</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:42pm<b>mark_erick</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:31am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:18am<b>TheWumbologist</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:44am<b>za67ch12</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:07am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:28am<b>snorgia</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:58am

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (4025)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (4043)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (6877)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

#21190761
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40710) - you deserved it (8496)

On 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44370) - you deserved it (4356)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42417) - you deserved it (4381)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (7394)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43533) - you deserved it (6272)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

#21173245
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (42891)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - Afghanistan (Kabol)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42614) - you deserved it (5091)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45088) - you deserved it (6825)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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