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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1894
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About invadermaythe1st : I like FML because humour.
You could also find me on ifunny, from time to time :p

invadermaythe1st's page activity

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100 kick ass comments

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Back from a party

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invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18304) - you deserved it (1622)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (2544)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (4343)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27315) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (7011)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, whilst visiting an unfamiliar office site for work, I was conversing with my boss about the possibility of considering myself for a managing position in the future. I then unintentionally followed him to the bathroom whilst walking and texting. FML

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (3144)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30290) - you deserved it (2926)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:08am - misc - by Anunimos (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (3828)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (2457)

On 04/14/2015 at 7:50am - work - by OptMouse (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (3339)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

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  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

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