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invadermaythe1st

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invadermaythe1st

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 852
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About invadermaythe1st : Eh, not much to say.

invadermaythe1st's page activity

Visits<b>maria95aa</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Elliotkitty</b> - 9 hours ago<b>davered89</b> - 10 hours ago<b>senor_octubre</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Tankkiller308</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:23am<b>Darknyan</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:27pm<b>sergei_yusef</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:24pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:35am<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:06am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 4:33pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:07am<b>xXIchaurXx</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:07am<b>SwervyNinja</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:02am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:51am<b>slaughter88</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 2:41am<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:46am<b>Sophosaurusrex</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:00pm

Liked!<b>davered89</b> - 4 hours ago

invadermaythe1st's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of invadermaythe1st's badges

invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37052) - you deserved it (4652)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33608) - you deserved it (3649)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (4249)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46879) - you deserved it (4135)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (6901)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

#21190761
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (8646)

On 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42570) - you deserved it (4400)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48732) - you deserved it (7550)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (6297)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

#21173245
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (43066)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - Afghanistan (Kabol)



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