Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2876
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About invadermaythe1st : I like FML because humour.
You could also find me on ifunny, from time to time :p

invadermaythe1st's page activity

Visits<b>iFevered</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:28pm<b>sandhusaurous</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:22pm<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:31am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:42am<b>ionab101</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:26pm<b>urboiron</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:13pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:37pm<b>austincain117</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:21pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:33am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:10pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:13pm<b>Hoboman69</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:46am<b>uhmhaicats</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:01pm<b>vegemute</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:43pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:56pm<b>etheor</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Skarlun</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:16pm

Fucked!<b>blazerman</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:34am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 5:34pm<b>lukian</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 2:55am<b>catherinecas</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:21pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:45am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:26am<b>Mezzacarina</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:21pm<b>love_struck97</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:53am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:15pm<b>littleking94</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 6:40am<b>Pike313</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:32am<b>amine91</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:45am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:27am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:58am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:25am

invadermaythe1st's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of invadermaythe1st's badges

invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of searching, I finally found the wedding dress of my dreams. Too bad it was in the form of a download for The Sims. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (3079)

On 09/29/2015 at 10:58am - misc - by Anna (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (2324)

On 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (2342)

On 08/20/2015 at 2:02am - love - by Catsfordays - United States (California)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to break, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20593) - you deserved it (4378)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (2858)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26642) - you deserved it (3162)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (2329)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (12999)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (36178) - you deserved it (7581)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27008) - you deserved it (2595)

On 06/06/2015 at 3:32am - work - by justin bieber's nutsack (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30862) - you deserved it (3948)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (2501)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: