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invadermaythe1st

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invadermaythe1st

46Fucked!

invadermaythe1stinvadermaythe1st
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2551
  • Number of comments : 172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About invadermaythe1st : I like FML because humour.
You could also find me on ifunny, from time to time :p

invadermaythe1st's page activity

Visits<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:56am<b>moiqbal</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:28pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:09am<b>TCRII</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:44pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:52am<b>WeKiIITheBatman</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:29pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:25am<b>insulinshot</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:36pm<b>mdomaria</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:49am<b>Valiantonias</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:38am<b>dilara_xo</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:38pm<b>scarlett3diaz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Mezzacarina</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:20pm<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:16pm<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:51pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 10:39am<b>Noremac42</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:29am

Fucked!<b>gshocker20</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:26am<b>Mezzacarina</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:21pm<b>love_struck97</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:53am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:15pm<b>littleking94</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 6:40am<b>Pike313</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:32am<b>amine91</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:45am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:27am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:58am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:25am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:39pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:40am<b>wassuploves</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:27pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:58pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:42am

invadermaythe1st's FML badges

Inception

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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invadermaythe1st's favorite FMLs

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to break, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

#21434457
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (4087)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

#21430948
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23860) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (2867)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24771) - you deserved it (2289)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (12415)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (6974)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

#21421640
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (2354)

On 06/06/2015 at 3:32am - work - by justin bieber's nutsack (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (3770)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27300) - you deserved it (2265)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (2640)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

#21412386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (4510)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (2360)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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