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inthemoonlight

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inthemoonlight

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  • Number of visits : 141
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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inthemoonlight's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 6:53pm

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inthemoonlight's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50902) - you deserved it (5313)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55078) - you deserved it (64191)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70134) - you deserved it (5173)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67219) - you deserved it (9916)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (6440)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

#17056931
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (14307)

On 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40211) - you deserved it (6210)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64195) - you deserved it (6708)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33644) - you deserved it (3894)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (6099)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11108) - you deserved it (42740)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

#15793137
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17533) - you deserved it (27870)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (3678)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

#15589666
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40649) - you deserved it (3876)

On 04/01/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by Natalie - United States (Texas)

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

#15395122
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53780) - you deserved it (4128)

On 03/20/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)



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