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insomnimaniak

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insomnimaniak
  • Town/Country : Bikini Bottom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 378
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insomnimaniak : Hello, I am not available right now.
Please leave a message after the beep.

Aka I'm too lazy to think of anything even remotely interesting right now

insomnimaniak's last visitors

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insomnimaniak's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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insomnimaniak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (118198)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111079) - you deserved it (3437)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197277) - you deserved it (20883)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267847) - you deserved it (17493)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239923) - you deserved it (56619)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

#89031
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44478) - you deserved it (5377)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (7259)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)



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