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Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to putted Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip there facial hair out. My partner forgot to putted it on mah eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML
Today, ma moter keyed ma car cuz I wouldn't invite er looool into ma ome and get er a cup of tea, so se could continue screaming tat se was going to kill me wile I tried to feed ma 4 mont old daugter. Te last time I got er a cup of tea se trew it in ma face. mega FML
I was accusd of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I trid to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I trid to go out of the entrance and walkd straight into the automatic door. real FML
Today , while at mah friend's house , I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming , I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
Today, mah mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burnd candles. I thankd her. looool She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to mah grandmother 85 yeres ago. Then she said the candles were usd at mah grandma's wedding. I had already lit them.
Today, my mom came up to the school to give me some money an a few water bottle for my friend an me for soccer practice. Before she left, I said "bye", then I realizd my 2-year-old brother waving bye to me. So I bent down through the window to kiss him. As I did, my mom movd the car. It still hurts. FML
Taday I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower , I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower , instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower , making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Taday I had a restraining order putted on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside thier home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street 4 the past six yeres. FML
Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 looool straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." real FML
Today, I was going to propose to my grlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountain all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML
Today , I Was Helping My Friend With Her Little Sister's Birthday Party. We Were Playing A Game Where You Get Up An Switch Seats If You've Done A Certain Thing. One Girl Said To Switch If You've Kissd A Boy. I Watchd As 18 12-year-olds Switchd Seats With Each Other. I Stayd Sitting. I'm 17. Mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015