insert_name_herr

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insert_name_herr

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 524
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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insert_name_herr's FML badges

Consolation prize

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50 favourites

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insert_name_herr's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

by fledermausi / 06/12/2012 at 9:02am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

by deadhamster / 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Animals

Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 5:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 1:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

by Noname / 10/29/2011 at 7:02am / United States / Animals

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

by honeybee2487 / 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Work

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

by Bobsaget00 / 08/04/2011 at 6:19am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

by ceetee / 07/26/2011 at 9:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

by cheersdaddy / 06/08/2011 at 10:51am / United Kingdom (Midlothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2011 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

by Username / 02/08/2011 at 11:57am / United States (Nevada) / Love