About insanexnh : There's not much to say. I'm shy. I usually don't approach people, but that doesn't mean that I'm not open to new friends. Message me for whatever reason you want.=]
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insanexnh's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
by KnowWhereYourTowelIs / 08/14/2013 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by nearly a crazy lady / 08/12/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML
by MarissaKayleen / 08/12/2013 at 6:06am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by WTF? / 08/12/2013 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by DandoisFLAT / 08/11/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML
by mydaughterisdisturbed / 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML
by JustSayNo / 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
by just about pissed off / 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a… Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I… Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole…
- Today, I went to pick up my girlfriend from the airport after not seeing her for six month, even on… Today, when i was painting my room after not sleeping for 2 days, I decided to take a nap. After I… Today, my younger sister is taller than me. I'm 5 years older than her, I am male, and I am 17. FML.