About insanetyper : Not much. Just trying to get my badge.
insanetyper's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
insanetyper's favorite FMLs
Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 2:25am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML
by OvertonHippie / 01/13/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
by fuck you, boss / 12/20/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Work
by Iloverainbows10 / 12/18/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Miscellaneous
by theblackrose23 / 09/06/2013 at 8:10am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonyme / 09/06/2013 at 7:56am / France (Basse-Normandie) / Kids
by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals
Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML
by OfficeDroneWoman / 07/23/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by yoshithecat / 07/19/2013 at 8:31am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Work
Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm / United States / Health
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
by bucollegegirl / 10/08/2012 at 10:07am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Grindwhore / 09/17/2012 at 6:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…