About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14450) - you deserved it (3049)
On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5345) - you deserved it (14434)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (2212)
On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)
Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (2971)
On 06/20/2012 at 11:44pm - misc - by thesmartone - United States
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (4291)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (17869)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (3345)
On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13875) - you deserved it (1490)
On 06/05/2012 at 5:03am - misc - by holyshart - United States
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9214) - you deserved it (29385)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (2312) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (25244)
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (1270)
On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (3683)
On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)
Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (2231)
On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (1444)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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