About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18842) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (4039)
On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15427) - you deserved it (2927)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17440) - you deserved it (3147)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17076) - you deserved it (938)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15524) - you deserved it (1739)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (810)
On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20124) - you deserved it (1040)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25am - health - by Missusluv313 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (1295)
On 09/17/2012 at 6:46am - work - by Grindwhore - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12887) - you deserved it (1287)
On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36527) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6262) - you deserved it (19531)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
I agree, your life sucks (16816) - you deserved it (3189)
On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13546) - you deserved it (1628)
On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States
Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
I agree, your life sucks (3475) - you deserved it (20937)
On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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