Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

insanelyXnikki

Offline (the 07/06/2015 at 6:03am) | Search for a member

insanelyXnikki

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20645
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's page activity

Visits<b>nunes36</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:31am<b>pats2004</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:57am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:57pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:04pm<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:52am<b>js48</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:36pm<b>MrMoofinMan</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:12am<b>imhidden</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 1:23pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:04pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 1:39am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:20pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:13am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 10:57pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:18am<b>sb4331</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:29am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:52pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:45pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:32pm

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:59am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:03am

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of insanelyXnikki's badges

insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47634) - you deserved it (3809)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

#21098742
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (3973)

On 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44177) - you deserved it (3104)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (3213)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44017) - you deserved it (6011)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (5537)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (4079)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

#21083870
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (5788)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45547) - you deserved it (4233)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52904) - you deserved it (9525)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48228) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34773) - you deserved it (3859)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52805) - you deserved it (18636)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: