About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs
Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by ClaustrophobicNightmares / 03/28/2014 at 4:42am / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Work
by alicia75 / 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by thanksdad / 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 9:04am / Israel / Love
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
by PaneraSucks / 02/19/2014 at 1:24am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…