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insanelyXnikki

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insanelyXnikki
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 11997
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

#261877
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52822) - you deserved it (11152)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68665) - you deserved it (7216)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60623) - you deserved it (15316)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (9378)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34818) - you deserved it (10930)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

#210139
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55441) - you deserved it (3266)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

#197450
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69062) - you deserved it (23411)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by camp (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48544) - you deserved it (38658)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

#192617
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (4439)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by lucy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70534) - you deserved it (15302)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16207) - you deserved it (40878)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60614) - you deserved it (262889)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12284) - you deserved it (61608)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)



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