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insanelyXnikki

Offline (the 07/23/2014 at 1:28am) | Search for a member

insanelyXnikki

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13634
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's page activity

Visits<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:35pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:25am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:32pm<b>hurricanesTheU</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:09am<b>doglover100</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:12pm<b>purecountry119</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:43am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:27am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 4:16am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:32am<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:39pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 1:37pm<b>omgitsjc</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 8:25pm<b>turtlescott163</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:29pm<b>lunarjazz</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 3:51pm<b>kporter26</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:16am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 2:08am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:45pm

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (59300)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15240) - you deserved it (74418)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67113) - you deserved it (4718)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (250954)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64328) - you deserved it (17661)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167382) - you deserved it (29971)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (46976)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

#740938
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61786) - you deserved it (9121)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

#723787
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54219) - you deserved it (7302)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you deserved it (67091)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105316) - you deserved it (7786)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

#656486
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49848) - you deserved it (22804)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138266) - you deserved it (25857)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

#641571
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51830) - you deserved it (6775)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong



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