insanelyXnikki

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Offline (the 09/04/2016 at 5:28am)

insanelyXnikki

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 24783
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 9:03am<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 4:41pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 10:48pm<b>Teyros</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 1:34pm<b>Bt1234567890</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:05am<b>aye146</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 12:05pm<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:45pm<b>KeatonHanson</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 7:47pm<b>12345BKRlife</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:35pm<b>lpfire61</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:10am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:23am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:29am<b>minimanion</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:33am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:06pm<b>hammonds92</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:57am<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:31am<b>PDSot</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 8:45am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:38pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 3:03pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:33pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:48am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:59am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:20pm

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of insanelyXnikki's badges

insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

by mylifesucks123 / 05/03/2009 at 9:44am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

by itswhateverr / 05/03/2009 at 12:16am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2009 at 2:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML

by 21yearoldvirgin / 05/01/2009 at 5:46am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

by buymeadrank / 04/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

by RckRagman / 04/30/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to meet my grandparents. They live on the 27th floor. Alone in the elevator we started making out. Turns out that theres a camera in the elevator, connected to every apartment. My grandma asked me how it was. FML

by fmylifechelsea / 04/27/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

by calliefml / 04/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

by whatthehell / 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

by pleasebackintomycaragain / 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation