insanelyXnikki

Search for a member

Online

insanelyXnikki

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 23876
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's page activity

Visits<b>Teyros</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 1:34pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 12:52pm<b>Bt1234567890</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:05am<b>aye146</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 12:05pm<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:45pm<b>KeatonHanson</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 7:47pm<b>12345BKRlife</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:35pm<b>lpfire61</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:10am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:23am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:29am<b>minimanion</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:33am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:06pm<b>hammonds92</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:57am<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:31am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 1:49am<b>PDSot</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 8:45am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:38pm<b>braver7315</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:10am

Fucked!<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:33pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:48am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:59am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:20pm

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of insanelyXnikki's badges

insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Work

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

by t-dawg / 05/09/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

by jamblasticus / 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

by stpdaziandude / 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

by kekumbas / 05/05/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

by lsta / 05/04/2009 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Health