About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (48575)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34516) - you deserved it (22726)
On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (4183)
On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10773) - you deserved it (48847)
On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49887) - you deserved it (4730)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46420) - you deserved it (6920)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36126) - you deserved it (5024)
On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34179) - you deserved it (4770)
On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54649) - you deserved it (17666)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7824) - you deserved it (32367)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183028) - you deserved it (61945)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (7318)
On 02/15/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by loueb17 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (32774)
On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (4229)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (43831)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Monday 17 June 2013
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