About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7808) - you deserved it (32315)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178117) - you deserved it (61490)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22313) - you deserved it (7312)
On 02/15/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by loueb17 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9254) - you deserved it (32739)
On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (3867)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (39984)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64503) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69021) - you deserved it (20085)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you deserved it (61008)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9909) - you deserved it (35729)
On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (10752)
On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (1383)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)
Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (3615)
On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you deserved it (2417)
On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my best friend of 10 years that somewhere along the way I feel in love with him and I think we should be together. His response: "I appreciate the sentiment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (2622)
On 02/08/2009 at 6:34pm - misc - by mer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 20 May 2013
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