Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

insanelyXnikki

Search for a member

insanelyXnikki
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 11939
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's last visitors

doglover100Garrett2818cohenb93grizzlybear26notachinesewomanturtlescott163kporter26

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of insanelyXnikki's badges

insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

#19706786
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (1592)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (4624)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (14198)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (6624)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (6624)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (1575)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

#19666760
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15700) - you deserved it (1726)

On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

#19626758
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15718) - you deserved it (1358)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by observant (woman) - United States

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML

#19598076
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15427) - you deserved it (1210)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (2682)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (2040)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

#19532931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15780) - you deserved it (3354)

On 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by HAIRY (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (1925)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6181) - you deserved it (27018)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: