Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

insanelyXnikki

Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 5:52pm) | Search for a member

insanelyXnikki

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 19780
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's page activity

Visits<b>nhbasskid13</b> - yesterday at 5:04pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 1:39am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:20pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:13am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 10:57pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:18am<b>sb4331</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:29am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:52pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:45pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 10:32pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm<b>barkerman00</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:14pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:03pm<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:46pm<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:50pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:35pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:33pm

Fucked!<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:03am

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of insanelyXnikki's badges

insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47297) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8702) - you deserved it (30350)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (2701)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5377) - you deserved it (31231)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

#20054655
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29993) - you deserved it (5736)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (2608)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

#20042043
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (2142)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:03am - love - by wtf - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (10881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34614) - you deserved it (1611)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17547) - you deserved it (7259)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

#20004599
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (4514)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (3851)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: