About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by hahagirl / 09/12/2012 at 1:40am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by me / 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm / United States / Work
Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
by DrunkenShopper / 09/03/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
by difference between birds and mammals. / 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm / Australia / Animals
by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 08/26/2012 at 1:03am / New Zealand (Southland) / Love
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love
Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML
by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML
by jfc519 / 08/12/2012 at 12:23pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work
by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by llaurenmariee / 08/04/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…