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insanelyXnikki

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 8:42pm) | Search for a member

insanelyXnikki

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15068
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's page activity

Visits<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:46pm<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:50pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:35pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:25am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:32pm<b>hurricanesTheU</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:09am<b>doglover100</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:12pm<b>purecountry119</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:43am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:27am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 4:16am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:32am<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:39pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 1:37pm<b>omgitsjc</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 8:25pm<b>turtlescott163</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:29pm<b>lunarjazz</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 3:51pm

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (2326)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (13673)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

#20135256
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6110) - you deserved it (29419)

On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (1815)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (6581)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (6122)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21415) - you deserved it (4238)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (1258)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (1755)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (2818)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (1297)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you deserved it (1726)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)



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