Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

insanelyXnikki

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

insanelyXnikki

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14019
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

insanelyXnikki's page activity

Visits<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:35pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:25am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:32pm<b>hurricanesTheU</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:09am<b>doglover100</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:12pm<b>purecountry119</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 11:43am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:27am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 4:16am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 12:32am<b>grizzlybear26</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:39pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 1:37pm<b>omgitsjc</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 8:25pm<b>turtlescott163</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:29pm<b>lunarjazz</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 3:51pm<b>kporter26</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:16am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 2:08am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:45pm

insanelyXnikki's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of insanelyXnikki's badges

insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (6029)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (4234)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23195) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21747) - you deserved it (1250)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (1750)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (2777)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (1292)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17431) - you deserved it (1678)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44454) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8293) - you deserved it (29360)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (2532)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5305) - you deserved it (30957)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

#20054655
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (2280)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: