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insanelyXnikki

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insanelyXnikki
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 November 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 11919
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."

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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (27860)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15446) - you deserved it (2144)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4197) - you deserved it (27420)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

#20054655
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18850) - you deserved it (2061)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (5416)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

#20042043
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (1867)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:03am - love - by wtf - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28644) - you deserved it (1225)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (6714)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

#20004599
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (4253)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (3295)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (1569)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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