About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (1567)
On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18254) - you deserved it (2547)
On 03/18/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (1460)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22441) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (6936)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (6984)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (23243)
On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (6919)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15481) - you deserved it (2223)
On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (2209)
On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (1496)
On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (1837)
On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1515)
On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17651) - you deserved it (4446)
On 02/28/2012 at 6:55am - love - by Susan - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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