About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML
by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
by jennythezebra / 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Work
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health
by _Ducks_ / 05/28/2014 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Congrats to me / 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
by her mom raised her / 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm / Mexico / Kids
Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML
by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML
by badessaymyass / 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Work