About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
insanelyXnikki's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML
by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
by jennythezebra / 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Work
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health
by _Ducks_ / 05/28/2014 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Congrats to me / 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
by her mom raised her / 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm / Mexico / Kids
Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML
by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML
by badessaymyass / 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…