About insanelyXnikki : "Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and sit your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
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insanelyXnikki's favorite FMLs
Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML
by Vkaz / 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by s0728 / 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/16/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I got sent to the head teacher's office for doing "stupid hand gestures and disrupting the class". Yesterday my teacher told the class to do the same hand gesture to ask for permission to go to the toilet so it wouldn't interrupt her talking. FML
by Bad Teacher / 08/01/2014 at 1:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML
by photoman / 07/14/2014 at 5:31am / Austria (Wien) / Geek
Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML
by BrewPack / 07/13/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Wow / 07/05/2014 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
- Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I… Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago.… Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently…