I'm a math/art dork. I'm an aerospace engineer/mathematician in training... enough said. I'm a retarded genius, lack social skills, and hide from life in my studies, because life is fucked.
In case you get bored of FML Check out my art gallery at:
http://insane-chick.deviantart.com/
My Twitter is: calliecparrish
Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off of the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and an bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $24,000 in bills. Really. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82394) - you totally deserved it (8165)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61687) - you totally deserved it (3609)
On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I did my laundry in my dorm. After dragging 2 hampers down 4 flights of stairs, my ID card with money on it was rejected. After dragging it back upstairs, I scrounged up enough quarters from friends. 30 minutes after finally starting my laundry, I realized I forgot to add detergent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16717) - you totally deserved it (31167)
On 05/01/2009 at 5:15pm - health - by CollegeGirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you totally deserved it (12337)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I took a bath with what I thought was my waterproof vibrator. It wasn't. Apparently my boyfriend found me passed out in the tub from an electric shock with my vibrator floating next to me. He refused to call a doctor and insisted on interrogating me about what he's doing wrong in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you totally deserved it (30319)
On 05/01/2009 at 5:46am - misc - by uhoh (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you totally deserved it (3785)
On 04/27/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Tragic (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16779) - you totally deserved it (250133)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34429) - you totally deserved it (14377)
On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63065) - you totally deserved it (2927)
On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then proceeded to walk into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poke his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you totally deserved it (165909)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to eat at this new cafe near my apartment. When I sat down a super flamboyant waiter came up to me and asked for my order. I asked him what he recommended. He said "to be honest honey, you could go for the salad." I just got out of an eating disorders rehab and put on 30 pounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84235) - you totally deserved it (3910)
On 04/02/2009 at 6:44pm - health - by fatty_mcfatfat (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I opened my mail to find my Brown acceptance letter. Excited, I showed my dad who just laughed and said 'what, it's not like it's Harvard'. No one in my family has ever gone to college. My dad didn't even graduate from high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96759) - you totally deserved it (2592)
On 03/31/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML
I agree, your life sucks (78428) - you totally deserved it (1788)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks,"Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML
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On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72502) - you totally deserved it (2115)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)
