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About inmyjimjams : cheers, mate.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was on the job as an ambulance driver, I got a call about a man who claimed he'd had a heart attack. When I got to the house, it turned out the man was fine. I did however manage to hit a dog on the way there in fear of the man dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (3279)
On 09/12/2009 at 2:35pm - animals - by ambulancedriver (man) - Poland (Warszawa)
Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (10443)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (6048)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6184) - you deserved it (36932)
On 09/10/2009 at 10:15am - work - by ritz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28917) - you deserved it (2664)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States
Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32610) - you deserved it (4746)
On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34554) - you deserved it (5390)
On 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8458) - you deserved it (31758)
On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (52419)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54587) - you deserved it (4295)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)
Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57932) - you deserved it (4342)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36328) - you deserved it (1432)
On 09/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (1393)
On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (31843)
On 09/05/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by joeshmoe (man) - United States (Mississippi)
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