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inlovewithcoffee's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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inlovewithcoffee's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML
by Tampax / 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm / Spain (Castilla-La Mancha) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by nyx / 09/27/2014 at 4:16am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Need Clothes Now / 09/21/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm / Portugal / Kids
Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML
by newswithabitofbite / 08/28/2014 at 6:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
by Lika1712 / 08/26/2014 at 6:55pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 11:37am / United States / Love
- Today, I ignored a middle aged man's obscene cat calling. He responded by trying to spit on me. FML Today, I had a mock-assessment for roller derby and I had to make a jump over the block. I would've… Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask the girl I like out. Turns out she just decided she was a…