Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About inkdeath87 : I'm unique, get over it! I'm a rock fan. My favorite bands are Black Veil Brides, Sleeping With Sirens, Pierce The Veil, Stars In Stereo, and Throw The Fight. I'm not your average girl. I can kick ass but I can also dress up when I need to. Basically, once you get into the inner workings of my mind, you can never find your way out of it.
I like boys with swishy/flippy hair, people who like the bands I like, and anything I can laugh at.
I hate too many things to list.
Living the single life since January 2013.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML
Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML
Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML
Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014