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Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (2565)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41380) - you deserved it (9183)
On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49194) - you deserved it (8199)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (3471)
On 06/09/2013 at 11:40am - health - by HollyJollyXmas (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51629) - you deserved it (8896)
On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53575) - you deserved it (11099)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40394) - you deserved it (7837)
On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53354) - you deserved it (6840)
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (2344)
On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51229) - you deserved it (8999)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63046) - you deserved it (6891)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63755) - you deserved it (5861)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (4480)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (6865)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (14405)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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