imunwatedbyalot

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imunwatedbyalot

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 85
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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imunwatedbyalot's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

imunwatedbyalot's favorite FMLs

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Money

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

by Char / 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Health

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

by llaurenmariee / 08/04/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

by PixiXOXO / 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 6:42am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

by ThisGuy97 / 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

by sm702 / 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

by Sleeeeeep / 08/19/2010 at 12:10am / Health

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

by mperrotta913 / 05/21/2010 at 11:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

by workinggirl / 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

by JC / 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love