Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

imunwatedbyalot

Search for a member

imunwatedbyalot

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 49
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

imunwatedbyalot's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

imunwatedbyalot's favorite FMLs

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18656) - you deserved it (3421)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (3673)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

#19985398
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (4767)

On 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by PixiXOXO (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25088) - you deserved it (2217)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

#18674853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (9629)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (2082)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12236) - you deserved it (28410)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (47792)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20282) - you deserved it (13362)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46599) - you deserved it (13744)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

#8892193
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (3098)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by workinggirl (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (8690)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

#508489
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50070) - you deserved it (34368)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: