About imshadyxo : I read fmls before I go to bed.
imshadyxo's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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imshadyxo's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML
by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
by meowymomma / 06/25/2016 at 3:21pm / United States / Intimacy
by can't wait to go home / 06/10/2016 at 3:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 1:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by scarredforlife / 02/12/2016 at 4:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Intimacy
Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 5:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML
by notmyfault / 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I arrived at the kennels I work in to find the power disconnected and the water pump off. This meant I had to bucket water and carry it to keep over sixty assorted dogs and cats alive in temperatures over 90 degrees. The moment I finished, the power came back on. FML
by TooFlamingHot / 01/13/2016 at 9:08pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy